Sitting is the devil

I tried my hardest, but whatever bug is going around got me. I've seen this thing hit a few people and observed a trend: those who tried to push through suffered a prolonged bout. Those who just rested and let the thing run it's course recovered more quickly and completely.

I surrendered.

Through a host of weird circumstances, I actually found myself with a few days to just rest. It hasn't been great because I haven't felt great but I am grateful that I'm able to take time and heal when needed. As I've recovered my body felt weird. Not, sick and sore weird but like, immobile sore. While sick I primarily laid down or sat. My body isn't so accustomed to this. Teaching yoga means a lot of moving around. I'm literally walking to and from teaching appointments in addition to moving when teaching. I purposefully don't practice alongside my students because I see teaching and practicing as two fundamentally distinct activities. I prioritize my own practice and make sure to be a student at a yoga class several times a week. When I teach, I teach. I observe the students in my class, if something I'm verbally instructing is unclear, I demonstrate it or demonstrate a piece of the pose, and I'm continuously assisting. I've found that the posture I'm in most often when teaching is a squat. Which is great. Super healthy. And my squat is improving in time. I'm finding more hip mobility, ankle mobility, and length in my spine.

After being sick, my low back hurts. My low back very rarely hurts. I realized it's from sitting too much!

Sitting is the devil!

Thankfully, as a yoga teacher, I have some tricks up my sleeve. I'm still home due to a similar host of circumstances, still staying pretty quiet and preserving my energy, but I am doing prep work for upcoming facilitations. I laid out my yoga mat, a nice thick blanket over top, and did yin. I added my yoga tune up balls (a lovely gift from dear Rachel Cope!). I rolled out my feet while I stood reading. I laid on heart bench and put the balls under my glutes. I rolled out the front, sides, and backs of my hips. I laid down and placed the balls under my upper back and shoulders where I could roll those tight areas as well.

After about an hour or more rolling and reading, I got up to fix myself an espresso. I feel so much better.

And simultaneously so sad for those who don't know how to care for themselves.

I hear complaints of lower back pain continuously. It's not one of my personal afflictions so I can't commiserate, but I can offer suggestions towards alleviation.

I'm increasingly grateful for the work that I've chosen and how it allows me to structure my life. Convenience is the devil! I've noticed it these past few days as I've still had to trudge outside to retrieve clothes that were drying on the line. I didn't want to. I grumbled as I didn't feel well. And then, getting outside for a bit made me feel much, much better. The fresh air was incredibly restoring.

I'm trying to remind myself of this continuously because I want convenience. I want a remote starter for my car. I want to sit and relax.

And yet, when I do just sit, it hurts.

Humans aren't meant for that. We're meant to move. Even when we're under the weather. Movement relieves us.

Seen on a run through Philly. I took this run super reluctantly just prior to getting sick. I didn't regret the movement. It showed me this frame of sweetness.

Feeling for no good reason

The Eagles won the Super Bowl.

Philadelphia is happy.

Like, so happy. It's infectious.

I don't know football. I don't know the rules. I don't know the people. I know Philly likes the Eagles. That's about it.

On Super Bowl Sunday, I painted my bathroom.

I woke up at 5 am the day after to go teach yoga. I looked online to see who won, mainly so I would know the mood I'd walk into when I taught class. My eyebrows raised. The Eagles won! OK. People will be happy.

The morning was very, very quiet. Very still. People slept the sleep of drunken champions.

As the sun slowly rose, a quiet jubilation blew through the streets. Even people who cut me off did so cheerfully. People are happy.

I felt happy too. I returned to the yoga studio to teach a 9:30 am class. After one student at 6 am (the hangover slumber) there was now a full studio of 20 some people. Everyone was chattering and connecting with their neighbors. I decided there was only one way to call to order under these circumstances. I blasted Queen's "We are the Champions."

Some students jumped up and danced, people waved their hands, we sang along. We had a moment. And then we did yoga.

Throughout the day I thought of how long people had waited for this. I saw so much Philly pride. Everyone was so happy to be from Philly. We were all happy to have wanted something together. We were so happy to share the good thing.

It felt like a wave of joy.

Given that I know nothing about football, I felt somewhat guilty sharing in the celebration. But I thought that plenty of times I get stressed or miserable for no good reason. Why not get happy for no good reason? We all want to feel joy. Sometimes, we only allow ourselves to go there with an excuse.

A football game is as good a reason as any.

And I'm starting to get team sports a bit. People want to root and cry and lament and celebrate together. They want the thing that makes them feel a thing. It's a projection. It's something to agree upon.

I'm so happy to be in Philly when we all decided, together, to be happy that we're here. To be proud of ourselves. To be excited about what we do and who we are. To hug each other in the streets. To be happy. For no good reason. For all the reasons.

Cause no one likes us and we don't care!

Actually Communicating

In my winter hibernation, I am listening. To many podcasts. Of a weird assortment.

Top contenders right now are Krista Tippett, Joe Rogan, and Duncan Trussell.

Their voices are very different from one another.

I love their curiosity, broad interests, and desire to truly communicate. Rogan and Tippett, in particular, talk frequently about the need to truly communicate with one another. I've been listening to the language they use to describe this need. Tippett has a series called "Civil Conversations" meant to offer a real conversation about a hot button issue that often is debated in sound-bites. She's had people on opposing sides of abortion or gay marriage speak together. "Civil" is a word that shows up often for her in searching for meaningful conversation.

Rogan uses words like "reasonable people having a logical conversation." "Reason" and "logic" show up often.

I appreciate both of them because they're introducing me to thinkers who I don't come across otherwise and they're offering them a platform where they can actually be heard as opposed to being reduced into a bullet point.

I also love the idea about how we communicate and the potential around our communication.

I've been thinking about whether or not I'm after "civil," "reasonable," "logical" conversations.

I'm not.

All of these words bother me. I want to understand why.

"Civil" is a word posed in opposition to "wild." The implied idea is that the "wild" or nature, is chaotic and unruly. Civilization is the order imposed on this disordered natural state.

Well, that's a problem. Given that human bodies are natural, there's again an implication to impose order on our natural state, our nakedness, our frailty, our vulnerability. The natural world, in my estimation, is not disordered. There's a beautiful, soft order that often escapes human comprehension, but exists nonetheless. Even storms provide the clarity of a cleansed environment. The wild might lie outside of human comprehension, but it's not chaos. Our understanding of it might be chaotic but that only speaks to our comprehension, not what we seek to comprehend.

Similarly, words like "reason" and "logic" feel really masculine to me. They feel like words my Dad uses. "Reason" especially feels rooted in Enlightenment thinking of moving away from the fearful idolatry of gods to the clear-eyed measurements of science. (Please read the ample sarcasm.) "Reason" implies that thinking can be divorced from intuiting and feeling.

I don't believe that we can be so divided.

We are always feeling and intuiting-- my understanding of intuiting being processing information through senses more quickly than we're able to categorize that same information through analytical cognition. I think Rogan uses the word "reason" to distinguish our tendency to "react."

Logic is a useful philosophical process to work through ideas. It completely has a place in conversation. There's also an assumption of objectivity here-- that we can get sufficient distance from a subject to look at it without investment.

I disagree. We are subjective beings. We are interwoven. We are in context. Claiming logic or objectivity is simply dishonest. Honestly, we can own our subjectivity and admit how it influences our thinking. That's being an accountable human.

These words have helped me clarify what I appreciate about the conversations Rogan and Tippett conduct as well as the interactions I seek.

I think I'm trying to be in and create environments for the following:

• Context. Owning where we are situated in a topic. Claiming our own biases and acknowledging how they might influence our thinking.
• Emotional awareness. Acknowledging when a topic feels close to home and allowing it to affect us. Not trying to claim that our insight is more credible because we don't feel but owning that feeling is being human. We're allowed to feel. And admitting that doesn't invalidate our thoughts on a subject.
• Accountability. Being willing to evolve. Being willing to be wrong. Being more interested in growth than "winning" a conversation. Being more interested in ideas than the stakes we've claimed.
• Curiosity. Allowing human curiosity to drive us towards creativity and connection. To allow us beyond the bounds of the group think many of us have affiliated with.

I'm sure there is way more, but this is my working list. These are the conversations that I cherish because they take place between humans. Humans are wild, they are not logical, nor are they reasonable. They have feelings about things, passions, excitement, and fears. And we can talk about that.

The Knights Templar of Tomar

From our quiet sojourn in the Portuguese country-side, we began to gather ourselves. I had booked two nights in Fatima in honor of the Centennial sighting. More on that to come.

As we consulted the map, we saw that as we were in the northwest mountains of Portugal heading southwest towards Fatima, we would pass through Tomar. Kevin petitioned for a stop. This, after all, is home of the Knights Templar. 

A castle wall surrounds the Convent of Christ, the Knights Templar home built in the early 12th century. 

Every inch of the Convent of Christ has mystical symbolism. Esoteric symbols intermix with Christianity. Rooms were circular, well protected, and basically every guy's wet dream.

Kevin kept looking in the forests outside of the castle walls. Apparently that's where really super secret weird rites went down.

The Templar Knights were ultimately banned but their burial site remains in view of the Convent of Christ. Kevin and I drove down away from the church fortress on the hill through the beautiful town of Tomar to Igreja do Maria do Olivais. Kevin got super excited finding the circular rose window above the entry. Standing with your back to the church, you have a clear view of the Convent of Christ high on the hill ahead.

This church was perhaps the most fascinating in all of Portugal. Entering, above the altar a window with a pentagram surrounded by interlocking circles. So much esoteric symbolism! No cross! As I walked down the steps I saw flyers advertising normal church events for the community. This church, more than any other we visited, seemed most in use and loved by its community. The Virgin Mary was centered below as a point of worship with Jesus off to her left. To the right of the church and all along the side were small tombs containing the remains of the 12th century Knights Templar. This church felt like the quiet, breathing home of the strange, esoteric protectors of medieval treasure.

Guarda: Portugal's staring contest with Spain

We woke in a sagging bed facing a stone framed window over the Portuguese hills. The sheep bells clanged as the animals marched around the property. A few cats climbed the window ledges.

I thought about home and how easy it is to get a cup of coffee. How many cafes I can drive to. And saw the cost of that convenience.

It was quiet and still.

We ultimately did decide to venture out. We got back on the highway continuing towards the Spanish border to the medieval outpost of Guarda. 

This imposing cathedral faces the Spanish border, an architectural "come at me!" 

There's a theater in town, shops, and restaurants, but it's small. This is a bit of the last frontier in cooler, mountainous Portugal.

This beautiful old church, like so many in Portugal, had spaces for anchorites, or Catholic renunciates. These spiritual seekers were built into solitary cells in the church. Sometimes they could view the regular church services and sometimes not. Food was delivered to them like they were a death row inmate in modern day prisons. 

The larger communities recognized that these people might be more able to hear spirit and would sometimes come to their windows and ask for counsel.

The church was filled with spaces that whispered secrets-- passageways for clandestine purposes, ways to renounce the world, guarded treasures hidden from sight.

Story Telling for Yoga Teachers!

I LOVE STORY TELLING.

I lulled myself to sleep as a child by telling myself chapter after chapter of self-created epic tales. As a teenager, I went with my high school to a story telling festival in Johnson City, TN. We sat on hay bales and heard tall tales. I found out my grandmother had gone to college in the same town where I was currently flirting with a boy who had recently left stints with both Shakers and Orthodox Jews in Brooklyn.

I love stories.

Yoga classes become alive for me when I feel mythology, archetype, and story in my body. I've loved yoga classes where teachers taught me through movement as well inspiration. This is one of my favorite aspects of teaching. A yoga class can be exercise-- there's nothing wrong with that. It can also be an event, a happening, an atmosphere co-created.

Last year, I took a workshop on story telling to test run some of my own ideas on the art form. Feeling solid in my approach, I offered a workshop at Yogawood on the topic. It was really fun! The topic lends itself well to an online approach so I have now adapted this to an online course! It's on sale until Christmas Day. I've created supplemental material available on my podcast!

You can take this course whenever. The content will meet you independently! You can find the support material clearly linked. Buy here!

Artist Katie Chappell had begun creating some images for me for another project. They became perfect fodder and accompaniment for this online course! Enjoy the whimsy and imaginative illustrations while you clear your creative voice.

This course is specifically designed for yoga teachers but accessible for anyone who wants to limber up their own imagination, access their own inspiration, and get more comfortable creating. 

This course is a great gift for the yoga teacher in your life! Please spread the word, get out there and inspire!

Want to take class with me? Download my podcast!

I'm a big believer in trusting your own inspiration. It often takes you down unexpected paths.

When I developed my online course I tested it with some trusted friends. One piece of feedback I received was to create supplementary material like examples of myself doing what I'm teaching in the course. I tried to figure out how I could do that best. Would I film myself and upload it on YouTube? There's definitely a lot of yoga teaching on YouTube, which can be great. Filming, getting a good, quiet location, appropriate lighting, and quality is an undertaking. I knew that I wanted to create and refine as I go. Filming seemed like a bigger task than I was up to for now.

I love podcasts and love learning through audio. I already had the equipment needed to create audio content. I began researching how to create a podcast... and it's an undertaking. But one that felt more accessible than creating content that's both audio and visual. Podcasts also seemed to open up more interesting pathways.

After massive research, I have now created a podcast on iTunes! Podcasts need a web home to create an RSS so after more research and friend feedback, I've created my podcast home on SquareSpace. I am feeling SO tech-savvy for once! I'm SEO-optimizing, creating RSS feeds, and all sorts of other stuff that I only vaguely understand!

The plan is to post a podcast of a class monthly. I may also post little teaching samples mainly geared towards other yoga teachers who are taking my online courses and looking for supplemental material. I'm toying with broadening this-- interviews and conversation may come.

I think the classes will really serve those of you who don't live near a yoga studio or when you're traveling and busy. I hope they help you keep your practice near and dear. These podcast classes are not designed for new students learning yoga. Those of you: please come to class! I'll teach you! The podcasts are for people with yoga experience who want to practice. I hope it serves.

Do you have other ideas of other ways you'd like me to use the podcast? Requests for the classes? People you want me to talk with? Email me! I'm about the collaborative life!

In the meantime, please subscribe to my podcast on iTunes and if you're so inclined, please give it a good rating and review on iTunes so it becomes more easily searchable to other listeners! Thank you and Jai!