I'm still

Reckless Self-Righteousness

vs.

Reckless Humility

Kevin just said those words and I love the idea. Working towards reckless humility, untethered humility, freed from ego, present.

I was able to see family last week when I headed down to DC for the Split This Rock poetry & activism conference. Kevin had been sick. I felt twinges, but tried to shrug them off. Between a heavy work week and lots of travel, the twinges graduated on Thursday, while I was in DC. For that reason, I cut my time short, only attending two of three possible workshops. Thankfully, I made it home safely. During the trip, I had my favorite high school teacher on speaker phone and got to catch up.

Thursday night my sore throat growled and I drank water to appease. Then the cycle of having to go to the bathroom. Then trying to comfortably lay down to find sleep only for it to be interrupted by post-nasal drip. I didn't sleep at all. The silver lining? My sweet cat, Laz, stayed by my side the entire time. Usually, Laz puts Kevin and I to bed and then gets to the important business of wandering. Thursday night, he took care of me.

Anxiously, I waited for an appropriate hour to text fellow yoga teachers about covering my 6 am class. I had hoped to be able to teach it myself, but that seemed wildly unlikely after such a rough night. A friend came through quickly, and I fell into a few hours of sleep in the morning.

All day, Laz by my side.

Weeks ago, my friend Deb told me that she'd been feeling the need to be quiet and still. I was so impressed by her wise adherence to that message. I often feel that too, but unfortunately, I don't always heed it. I'm compelled by "should," I "should" go there, do this thing, be there for this person. Or, I don't want to miss something. Illness is always a messenger right? Be still.

I'm still.

When planted seeds start to bloom

What a week!

This morning, I received word that I'll be assisting Beth Filla when she teaches at the Namas Day Festival in Philly. I LOVE assisting and adjusting students. Plus, musician (& friend!) Andrew Chalfen will offer live tunes. Read the description below & register.

Make Me an Instrument: a Jivamukti Yoga Chakra Balancing PracticeBeth FillaAsana, Meditation, Intermediate, 9:00-10:30 am

Our bodies are the repositories for our karmas: everything we do, say, and think has an impact. Different parts of our physical bodies correspond to the situations and relationships we find ourselves in at different points in our lives. Through yoga asana, sound practice (mantra), and meditation, we can liberate ourselves from the residues of our past actions and clear the channels so we can consciously direct our energy toward what we hold most dear.

In other news, I'm developing a bunch of amazing yoga retreats. It's bananas. To me, travel can function so similarly to yoga-- it can prime us to reconceive of ourselves and our environment. Powerful. One retreat I've been dreaming of mightily? Hoi An, Vietnam. I received word today that Advanced Certified Jivamukti Instructor, Julie Kirkpatrick has committed to co-teach with me! I'm pretty much beside myself. She an astounding teacher, so the participants will benefit from all of her bright insight-- but I get to practice with her when I'm not teaching! What a blessing!

Stay tuned. This is turning out to be a bright spring.

Travel Bend Write

Last night I headed up to NYC to perform with the #GrowFierce showcase of writers from Caits Meissner's Digging Deep, Facing Self course. 

I parked at my spot in Hoboken. Took the PATH train to 14th. Got the F train downtown. Scouted out Bluestockings. They were playing intimidating punk music. I skulked down the street and nervously sat over a bowl of Pho and a Vietnamese iced coffee.

I picked at my food, hungry, but too anxious to eat. 

A woman came in sharing her excitement over an upcoming trip to Vietnam. A staff member explained that she was from Saigon. I had to jump in. Soon, we're swapping stories of rice paddies, red sand hills, and misty switchbacks. My mind in Vietnam, my palms stopped sweating.

I mentioned that I develop yoga retreats and ache to offer one in Vietnam. The woman's eyebrows raised, "Really?! Do you have a card?"

Why yes, yes I do.

And then, remembering myself. I do. I do that. I travel around the world. I bend bodies. I write words.

With the warmth from these two women, I wandered back to Bluestockings. This revolutionary space has offered haven to Ramona Africa, to activists and artists spanning decades. The workers began setting out chairs and I begged to help, desperate for something to do. Their warm smiles made the punk seem less intimidating.

Soon, a trickle of familiar faces, though regrettably, mainly familiar from Facebook. No matter, they soon were in my arms as we embraced in greeting. 

And then, one by one, we offered ourselves up. The audience held us warmly.

An untitled piece that I shared last night:

Used to say vacant lots were

ugly until we dropped beats

around them, kicked life against

chain link fence, strung shoes

like ornaments on telephone 

wire

Said open fields were boring

until we painted the canvas 

with seed and let the horizon

bleed into the sky

They said Brooklyn was a

dump, Philly an armpit. Now

we splash home across our

chest, claim ancestry in

concrete

They disqualified most

female bodies--

too

big

hairy

pale

brown

skinny

flabby

We ask, "Where did

you come from?"

-Maiga Milbourne

A highlight, sweet Amy's son took the mike. He huffed, explained he had to get himself together, made sweet, determined fists, and basically displayed everything I had felt. Gathering what he needed, he crafted a poem on the spot.

The promise of big stories and whole humans. Space made for vital, small voices.

Plots made and wishes shared about the Mythic Beings Retreat, a weekend opened up specifically to nourish and create. I can't wait to experience more of what these women have to offer.

I slipped out, onto the F train, out on the PATH train, and then driving south to home. Tired, my brain spun. Space for our stories, for our voices, for each other.

This morning, Caits shared a poem written for each of us.

For me:

Maiga:

Ma, you ride

wind, song & 

waves, bend 

space & spine

& being fluid &

sunflower-fist

burst straight

through sky's 

thick canvas -

come sing

this freedom

loud as a flock

of gulls alive

over ocean &

then shhhh,

be still & bold

as stone,

you beg us

to be good

but strong.

-Caits Meissner

Come to the next two dates in the series! April 14 & May 12!

Solar Vortex: Yogawood Retreat to St. Lucia

I am so grateful to those of you who engaged with me about building a retreat in St. Lucia. After your written responses, conversations, and speaking with the owners at Balenbouche, I've elected to offer the retreat. This by no means minimizes the complications outlined. I was swayed by the overwhelming opinion that this experience could be navigated responsibly and the owners' commitment to their larger community. Balenbouche is apart of a number of community-driven cooperatives. I also talked to previous retreat facilitators (several of whom are people of color). With all of this information, I booked.

Solar Vortex: A Yogawood Retreat to St. Lucia

January 17-24, 2015

Remember the polar vortex in the winter of 2014? So do we.

The cold drew us all in and in, sometimes to cabin fever. For the winter of 2015, we invite you to draw in differently. Join us on retreat in St. Lucia, a remarkably gorgeous island in the West Indies. Let yourself get sun, heat, and the perspective that comes from intentional pause. Practice yoga twice daily and meditation. Each day, receive light breakfast snacks and two vegan meals from a renowned chef. Stay in eco-cottages a 20 minute hike away from private beaches. Our accommodations are integrated intentionally into the surrounding environment. As such, some showers are open air, there’s no air conditioning, but rather fans, mosquito netting, and a lot of fresh air. Enjoy personal attention during inversion and arm balance workshops on the beach. (Sand softens a fear of falling!) Draw in, reflect, and be.

St. Lucia & Balenbouche beach

http://balenbouche.com/

Your Guides

Beth Filla will lead most of your inner journey on this trip. For her, yoga is joy and expansion, an opportunity to uncover hidden connections and to watch the perceived boundaries of what is possible melt steadily away. A Certified Jivamukti Yoga Teacher, she offers a combination of vigorous asana, intellectual and ethical practice, music, and devotion in her classes.

Maiga Milbourne is passionate about healthy bodies, relationships, and communities. Maiga is an E-RYT vinyasa yoga teacher, and she loves nothing more than offering amazing hands-on assists in yoga practice. She teaches yoga, officiates ceremonies, and makes people's travel dreams come true. Learn more at maigamilbourne.com.

Tuition includes:

Transport to and from the airport

Daily light breakfast snacks and two  vegan meals

2 yoga practices daily

Inversion and arm balance workshops on the beach

Meditation practice daily

Accommodations in shared eco-cottages

Tuition does not include:

Travel to St. Lucia

Optional excursions

Travel Insurance. *WE RECOMMEND PARTICIPANTS PURCHASE THIS INDEPENDENTLY

All accommodations are shared.

Deposit:

To hold your space, we require a $300 deposit. The balance is due by Nov. 1, 2014.

Cancellation:

We realize that things happen. Until Oct. 1, 2014, we will refund all your payment except $100 for administrative fees. There will be no refunds after Oct. 1, 2014.

Accessibility:

We hope to make these experiences as accessible as possible. Save $150 on tuition if you pay in full by Aug. 1, 2014.

Enroll under Special Events on www.yogawood.com.

Banyan Cottage

Two bedrooms with shared bathrooms.

One bedroom with Queen sized bed. Two spots available at $1,535 per person if paid in full before Aug. 1, 2014. After Aug. 1, $1,685.

One bedroom with King sized bed. Two spots available at $1,535 per person if paid in full before Aug. 1, 2014. After Aug. 1, $1,685.

Almond Cottage

Two bedrooms with private bathrooms.

One bedroom with King sized bed and private bath. Two spots available at $1,685 per person if paid in full
by Aug. 1, 2014. After Aug. 1, $1,835.

One bedroom with two twin beds and a private bath. Two spots available at $1,685 per person if paid in full by Aug. 1, 2014. After Aug. 1, $1,835.

Frangipani Cottage

One King sized bed with private bath. Two spots available at $1,685 per person if paid in full by Aug. 1, 2014. After Aug. 1, $1,835.

Calabash Cottage

One Queen sized bed with private bath. Two spots available at $1,685 per person if paid in full by Aug. 1, 2014. After Aug. 1, $1,835.

Breakfasts on retreat:

Dinner at Balenbouche:

Our yoga barn:

Sunrise on one of the beaches within hiking distance of Balenbouche:

Organic Farm on the estate:

Practical Information:

http://www.balenbouche.com/index.php/st-lucia-attractions/visitors-guide-and-st-lucia-visa/

Of note:

Balenbouche has a dense history. It was a plantation. This history gave the organizers pause. Our intention is to offer a retreat that is rich in place and ease. We realize that this history means different things to different participants. Please know that our hope is to proceed with utmost respect for each participant and for the history of this specific location. Balenbouche’s current practices of community collaboration and mutual aid urged us towards supporting this small, locally-owned business. We are open to conversation about Balenbouche’s history and its significance. With love and accountability, Maiga and Beth.

Aligned: Passionate purpose, and yoga to free us all

I became a yoga instructor to offer burn-out prevention to other activists. I am so thrilled to be a part of the Yeye Devi Collective. Our mission reflects everything I believe about yoga and wellness.

I'd love to see you at a class!

Poesia En Vivo!

The AMAZING Caits Meissner has created another opportunity for new artists to shine. I'm hitting the stage at Bluestockings (BLUESTOCKINGS! Legendary!) this coming Monday. I would love to share this experience with you.

Later in the week I'll be at Split This Rock conference on poetry and activism in DC. Quite the charged spring.

BTW, notice a running theme here? Lots of exclamatory punctuation whenever I utter Caits' name? Yup. She's a powerful being. Check out the side-bar Mythic Beings Retreat that she and I host this summer in Vermont. Join us.

We all can do weird things

Kevin jumped out of the car (it was stopped, don't worry) to run an errand this morning. He returned saying, "I love knowing and being known by my community." The employees at his errand checked in with him. We smiled. We have community!

It's beautiful to know and be known. It's valuable to also realize the resources in your midst. We have amazing friends, Carole and Ken. Carole recently sold her car to other mutual friends, thereby freeing herself up to replace it with a car that felt better to her. Ken is great at finding appropriate cars and helped get the job done. 

I've been dying to replace my car, but I can't afford to-- yet. I feel like I'm driving the grandma mobile on borrowed time. Kevin and I have set one of our next financial priorities at replacing this car so that we can be proactive and not reactive at the moment of the grandma mobile's inevitable demise.

I shared this with Carole, telling her how I'm dreaming about a used Prius for under $8K (I've heard it's possible!). 

I'm really good at making weird travel happen. You tell me you want to ride a yak to a yurt in Mongolia? I get it. I can make it real.

However, I'm terrible about finding a new (to me) car. And I hate the task.

Ken is good at it. 

And he's kind. He's already researched this possible car! The whole project is on hold while I save money. However, I'm brainstorming a barter to compensate him for his time.

So this got Kevin and me to talking. We love community. We love knowing and being known. We also love knowing what type of weird and seemingly random aptitudes we each have. Beth hates gardening. Kevin loves it! Beth loves teaching yoga. Kevin loves learning yoga. Trade!

Joe is a lawyer. I need a waiver for my international retreats. Joe likes Assisted Yoga Practices. I offer Assisted Yoga Practices. Trade!

I wish we could wear name tags listing our weird abilities. Share yours in the comments below!

Contemplative yoginis during an Adjust and Assist Swap. Skill sharing! Mutual aid!