Throughout Vietnam, you encounter tons of shrines. There are large shrines that you can enter but there are also shrines in rice paddies to bury ancestors. This particular practice has recently been outlawed, but no one will move the existing burial grounds. More so, you'll find small shrines in practically every home and business. There might be a few small statues, definitely a handful of burning incense, and some fresh offerings like water and flowers.
On our bus ride to My Son, Kevin asked Linh a bit more about the reality of Vietnamese spirituality in daily life. Linh mentioned tending to these shrines. Kevin asked why-- who are these shrines for? Linh explained that the majority of Vietnamese spirituality is in reverence to ancestors. Most of these shrines are to ancestors, be they familial or maybe the spirits that inhabit the place. She started pointing out details that our eyes had missed. Most homes have cactus planted near the door. Cactus deters bad spirits who may wish harm upon the home.
Whenever there's a question about how to worship ancestors, if a living person's life is being interfered with by a spirit, or what choice to make, Vietnamese people often seek the guidance of a Fortune Teller. Kevin was intrigued. He asked Linh if she knew of someone that local people trusted, who might be willing to meet with him, a foreigner. Linh said she knew of someone highly regarded in Da Nang. Her family trusts her insight and consults her regularly. Linh said she would ask.
A few days later Linh told us that the Fortune Teller in Da Nang agreed to meet with us at her home. By that time, about 8 of us were interested in visiting the Fortune Teller. As we traveled we asked Linh questions in the hopes of behaving appropriately. Linh told us to make offerings in respect to the Fortune Teller. She reminded us that in Southeast Asia showing the soles of your feet to an altar or a person is considered disrespectful.
We arrived at a home in a residential neighborhood in Da Nang. Workers strung lights across the street in preparation for the upcoming Tet holiday. As we entered the home, we found motorcycles against the wall in typical Vietnamese fashion. The TV was on showing Vietnamese cartoons. Smoke hung in the air and a dog barked at us relentlessly. A small girl in diapers was terrified by us! A few tried to smile and play with her but she was not having it one bit! We waited for probably an hour but the Fortune Teller wasn't there. Her family members suggested we get snacks at a nearby stand and come back. We did. They suggested we walk around the community gardens nearby and come back. We did.
Ultimately, they said that Fortune Tellers have a lot on their mind. She missed the appointment and we were sent home.
Kevin started whispering his theory that she was there watching us to see if she wanted to consult with us. He said the child crying and the dog barking warned her away from us.
The following day Linh told us that the Fortune Teller regretted missing our appointment. She volunteered to meet us at our homestay in An Bang and give readings. We set up a make shift room for her in Kevin and my bedroom. While the rooms at the homestay are lovely, this was a narrow set up!
The Fortune Teller arrived on the back of Linh's motorcycle. It was hard to determine her age but she seemed wise and like she'd lived. She was small and lean, in pumps and a silk suit. She asked if she could smoke and she had a bearing that made me gulp at the thought of saying "no." I said "yes."
Prior to her arrival, we had given Linh a list of our names and our birthdates. She asked to see those who were couples together. It was actually great that she saw us at the homestay because she spent a good period of time with each person or pair. As we were on our home turf, we could wait on the beach. The sun was finally warming us up again so that was welcome!
Those who received the first readings began to emerge with big, bewildered eyes. There were reports of the Fortune Teller looking through you (I believed that!). For some, she invited them to point at Chinese symbols. With others, she focused on your Chinese animal which is related to your birth year. Others, your element.
She and Kevin and I sit together. Linh translated the whole ordeal (8 hours! Linh is amazing!). Linh had a similar sensibility to many of us. She said under her breath, "I don't believe this but it doesn't matter. She's always right."
The Fortune Teller looked at Kevin and I for a long time. She said my element is metal and Kevin's is earth. She said that sometimes I'm too hard. She said that Kevin has an ancestor who sometimes bothers him. I need to be patient and understanding with what he's going through.
She told Kevin to protect himself better in business. She said money comes and goes. He should keep more.
She then turned towards children. Linh explained that the Vietnamese love children so they always think everyone wants children. She said advice will always be how to conceive. The Fortune Teller said that I am year of the chicken and Kevin year of the pig. She told us not to conceive prior to Tet but once Tet arrived, do conceive in the year of the monkey. Otherwise, we should wait a few years for a better animal.
She told us both to worship our ancestors.
This was the piece that stuck with both Kevin and I. We've talked, since, about how there isn't much talk of worshipping ancestors in our culture. I see it in African American culture and so many other cultures. It's maybe most pronounced, in my experience, in Vietnam. I've had a lot of ambivalence around this idea. I want to have love and connection to my ancestors but in all honesty, I don't. I don't know a lot about them. What I do know troubles me, like their involvement in the brutal race history of the US. I don't know how to feel connected to lineage in a way that's honest and responsible.
Recently, I read that by healing ourselves we heal our ancestors. That made a lot of sense to me. If I have an inner sense of reconciliation of my own flaws and trespasses, as well as my gifts and strengths, maybe I can have the same nuanced view on those who came before me. Kevin has also heard teachings along the line of once we leave this realm of incarnation and become ancestors, we're not the same. So, an ancestor who committed crimes in the flesh might have greater wisdom on the other plane. Interesting thought!
Kevin has heeded the Fortune Teller's words. He's paying greater attention to ancestry. It's actually been really helpful. When we came home, his grandfather, who played a central role in his life, passed away. This idea of staying connected to ancestors was comforting during this time of grief.
Linh told us that many Vietnamese know something about palm reading. She wound up doing some other impromptu readings. It was an incredibly powerful way to better understand our surroundings and how Vietnamese view the world.
The Fortune Teller left in the evening as Julie taught a yin practice. The Fortune Teller walked past the students practicing in the garden to the path outside. I went to thank her again for coming and offering us readings. I couldn't understand her and Linh was elsewhere so she and I bowed to one another, giggled, and acted out what we wished to communicate. She gestured to the students practicing yoga, nodding in affirmation. She squatted down and did a few yoga poses, giggling in her silks and heels. Linh came out and the Fortune Teller jumped on the back of the motorcycle, cigarette, a mile of ash, still dangling from her fingers.
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