Savior

Recently I was approached to share my story on The Yoga Diaries.  It was lovely to receive an invitation, and a treat to discover this resource of reflections on yoga's restorative power.  My contribution, Held by the Whole, was recently published.

So many of us have found yoga to regroup during tenuous times.  I began remembering other stories of what "saved" those that I love.  There were stories of specific teachers, activities, an illuminating trip, a relationship.  The common thread was overcoming struggle.

I'm only 31.  My personal narrative has involved a transformation through struggle for more than a decade now.  I hope my life is long... which means I've formed identity around this journey in what might ultimately be a small percentage of the scope of my life.  Others have described epic struggles at younger ages.  I'm hard-pressed to find someone who can't describe a shaping encounter with obstacle.  Maybe I run in specific circles?

Does this make us each the hero of our own stories?  Does this make us a more understandable protagonist?  Is this what provides meaning?  It certainly has given my life meaning.  My encounters with struggle have grown my capacity for empathy.  They're what help me understand why I should be involved in social justice work, what life can feel like in various circumstances, what our roles are to one another.  During my darkest moments, I felt purposeless.  My voyage to the other side was in finding a role to play.

Perhaps what's offering me pause is the heroic aspect.  Why does life have to feel like a linear narrative?  Does it not to some?  I have a knee-jerk hesitation around admiring "heroes."  I love super-hero movies with the rest of them.  They're understandable, fantastic, and fun.  However, in real life, I hope to embrace the whole of each of us-- that we rise in certain moments, perhaps heroically, and we struggle in others.

Does our own self-image of starring in our own show cast equal light on personal evolution?  Full fallibility?  Perhaps the meaty journey is arriving sufficiently formed to question ourselves.  If yoga, a teacher, an event, become catalyst to stabilize us, we have reached a victory.  For so many, lives can be consumed with the art of survival.  It's a rare privilege to probe meaning.