I walked away

I walked away.

I walked away from the pressure-cooker.  I walked away from the ever-quickening treadmill of career and ambition.  I walked away from prestige and resumes and one-dimensionality.

I walked away from a "Seven Sister's College."

I "withdrew."  Dropped out.  I left college.

I was a second semester junior.  I had a strong GPA, had studied abroad in two countries, done an internship in NYC after my first year.  I was a solid student.

And I let it go.  Gladly.

I left feeling isolated.  I left feeling that I was worth my grades, my resume, my career.  I left using only my mind and not my body.  I left not having a community.  I left status and prestige.  I left doing what I was supposed to.  I left going through the motions.  I left not knowing how to care for myself

and I learned how to take care of myself.

I learned to get a job.  Any job.  And pay bills. . I learned to find an apartment that I could afford.  I learned to live out of the way, a few subway stops, and be OK.  I learned to live in small spaces with few pieces of furniture and appliances.  I learned to prepare my meals on a budget, to pack a lunch, to take care of myself.

I learned to clean.  I learned to tidy.  I learned to budget.  I learned to manage.

I learned to do work that was fulfilling to multiple aspects of myself-- socially, physically, intellectually.  I learned to do any job well.  I learned about the various types of intelligences one might possess.

I learned to stay with something that is hard and worthwhile.  I learned when it's time to let go.

I walked away.