Loving destruction

Recently, many things happened that weren't supposed to.

My husband thought he killed his friend.  Thankfully, his friend was fine.

Our small business relies on this truck daily.  We were in the middle of a job & booked through early October.  

The net result was that we relied on friends.  One friend loaned a truck for a few days so we could try to stay on schedule.  His truck wasn't the size of Kevin's, so then we were able to borrow a second truck.

Then that truck broke down.  

Our neighbor has been a miracle.  He helped us rectify the original mess within ten hours of the event.  He then helped us repair the loaner truck.  

We're seeing that our plans are less important than being present, calm, and in community.  I'm also learning that sometimes things have to get all busted up to then get clear.

I'm teaching yoga classes this month dedicated to the practice of Bhakti, loving devotion towards the Divine.  A fellow teacher said that Bhakti is often associated with Shiva, a holy representation of destruction.  I sat with that & tried to work out how destruction can be in keeping with loving devotion.  And then I observed my own recent days.  When the things I thought I needed-- a truck, a schedule, savings, what have you-- were suddenly blown up I had to devote myself to what is less tangible & more reliable-- community, vulnerability, trust.  My faith in the less tangible has grown immeasurably.  Kevin & I keep wanting to write country songs, but less plaintive and more grateful.  We're realizing what aspects of our life we try to shield and where we isolate ourselves.  We've been forced to be more transparent and connected.

When things fall apart there is room for something else.