It Is Big

In the last few days, I've been asked several times, in various venues, by different people, what I want for my life and what I would change.

I want what I'm living.

What would I change?  More money.  Just enough to feel more stable.  More time.  Just enough to feel more balanced.

I wouldn't change where.  This spot is too rich with soil that knows my footprint and plants that surprise me with their blossoms, patterns, and response to wind.  This place is too filled with people who inspire me and fill my days.  There's too much work to do here; to support the community that exists and continue collaborating towards more growth.  And it's the best place to return to after having run around the globe a bit.

I wouldn't change who.  If anything, I'm working on changing myself, to be more open, available, and vulnerable.  I'm learning how to FEEL more.  I've gotten good at boundaries.  Now I have to get good at having the judgment to use them and the wisdom to sometimes let go.

My people.  Big time joy in my backyard.

I wouldn't change what.  I have a nagging doubt that I spread too thin, that my passions are too distant from one another, that there isn't sufficient cohesion.  As I wrote to my artist's community: Shit.  This is my life.  It is big.