Sitting still in a quiet house.
Still in a quiet house with-- blessedly-- no internet.
Quiet house with a cat. Press face against fur. Consent-based kitty snuggles.
Regular body work.
Creatively figuring out how to afford regular body work. Includes: finding a local massage school with heavily discounted student massages.
Body work that includes energy work.
Body work that includes energy work with an practitioner who makes you feel safe.
Energy work that radically moves energy.
(Believing you have energy and that it can be radically moved.)
A body worker who you are convinced is clairvoyant.
You become certain that they know.
They want to process with you and you ask them if they know.
They smile, defer, deflect, but based on their response a) they know, b) because you're not so unique, c) unfortunately, it's all so common.
Thinking about food, sleep, movement, inspiration, aging.
Fear around all of it.
Decisions around all of it.
What privilege to be able to make decisions around all of it.
What fear to have to make decisions around all of it.
What mind f*ckery.
Sitting in a quiet house.
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