The #GrowFierce Showcase, highlighting writers from Caits Meissner's Digging Deep, Facing Self course, offered another round of voices last Monday night at Bluestockings Bookstore. I was on the line-up. Kevin & I have both been burning the candle at both ends, so we decided to make a day of it.
Fairly early in the morning we headed to NYC to catch a Jivamukti yoga class with Ruth Lauer-Manenti. She's on the faculty leading my Jivamukti training in India this February. It was such a treat to meet her and practice with her! Plus, I got to introduce her to Kevin, which feels nice. Even if he won't be with me in India, at least one person will have met him!
One of Kevin's cousins lives in NYC and yet another was visiting on said day. We met this cousin, Maria, for Momofuku noodles and much wandering around the Lower East Side. There was even a nap in there. Brilliant.
As the afternoon progressed, so did my nerves on publicly performing my work. I don't read my poetry often. In fact, I don't write to read out loud. I was also toying with reading some pieces I was nervous about-- they deal with race, my family's background, and orienting within the racial landscape. They're uncomfortable, as this history is uncomfortable. However, I really believe that white people need to think and write about race, and to contextualize ourselves. Practice what you preach, right?
Lots of deep breaths and pretending like I was OK. The showcase featured a range of talented women. It was fun having Kevin and cousins there. I'm not used to performing nor having my entourage-- support is nice!
I'm consistently pushing myself to do things that make me slightly, or actively, uncomfortable. The wonderful part of this practice is that less and less feels daunting. Reading my work totally made me feel exposed and sweaty and vulnerable. But, so does wearing a bikini.
To showing literal & metaphoric skin--
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