Finally figuring out how to feed myself

I'm a bit surprised by myself, but I'm going to write about cooking.

See, if you know me in the real world, you now I will go on at LENGTH about eating or even growing food. Both processes give me great pleasure, though in all honesty, I lean hard on the eating end of the spectrum.

Cooking, however, is a part of the process that I shun. In my house, Kevin tends to cook more. Right now, he's in the bowels of landscaping. He's working long, hard hours and needs me to help with this area of our shared domestic life.

Bullocks.

A bit of background: I don't come from a cooking tradition. Both sets of my grandparents are Southern. Folks always say Southerners know how to cook, right? SOME Southerners. I love my grandparents but none of them could cook. The best it got was sweet rolls, those sticky buns in a can, that my grandfather made before church on Sunday. My paternal grandmother was great for rolls, white rice from a box, and that's about it. I don't think they really learned to cook either.

My parents both built really interesting and dynamic careers. There have to be choices made about where you'll place energy and I think they made some good decisions but it meant that there was no food culture in our home. When I think of food culture, I think of people cooking together, teaching each other, and spending time in the kitchen. We didn't really do that. We did plenty together, but we were bigger on take-out. I think of my Mom going back to school when I was young and embarking on a career that means a lot to her. It taught me a lot-- that I should pursue what inspires me and that life is long, so stay engaged in it. Her example and the examples of my grandparents made big impressions on me. However, I think I filed cooking away as something to scorn. Or, I somehow decided that cooking was the antithesis to having a career and passions. (I know that's not true, but my developing mind wasn't always logical.)

I've always had a penchant for folk art and the stories it tells. As an adult, I started to find that so much story telling happens through food preparation and in the kitchen. Most intact cultures have really strong culinary traditions. I started to understand that cooking and life in the kitchen transmit culture. This has become increasingly important to me as an adult where I found lack of culture creating a void that consumerism and fear could fill. I think of this specifically with much of white America, where mass consumption and fear of the "Other" (the young hooded Black man, the Muslim, etc) creates brutality. I'm increasingly interested in the way that reviving food, cooking, family, and culture can create a sense of belonging that inoculates against the alienation that troubles us nationally.

Even my yoga studies tell me to cook! Damnit! Jivamukti co-founder Sharon Gannon described being a young waif who basically wanted to shed the body and be "enlightened" or absorbed into cosmic consciousness. Her teacher said, "you're embodied for a reason. You need to be earthy and of the earth. Cook. Eat." She was reluctant but over time developed a strong love for cooking to the degree that she recently released a vegan cookbook.

Despite my protestations, I actually prepare food pretty regularly. I primarily work from home so I'm feeding myself. I would always wait until I was hungry. angrily look in the fridge, want something quick, feel thwarted, and make the same thing again and again. Granted, I don't eat bad, but my diet wasn't always suited best to my body and constitution and sometimes lacked variety. My go-to was a big spinach salad with onion and avocado, dressed with olive oil, fresh lemon, salt and pepper. Delicious. But I was actually eating too much spinach and was often bloated.

I tried cleanses and different things. I didn't know how to keep food around that was whole, healthy, and consumable in a way that was interesting and nutritious. I waited on asking friends and the interwebs because I really didn't want people to tell me to cook. Blah.

Finally, I relented. I was flooded with recipes and advice. A really helpful piece came from my friend, Ravina. She told me that the key is to prep whole foods in advance that you can put together like various puzzles. Specifically, she and few others told me to keep various roasted vegetables on hand. Keep prepared lentils or some type of protein ready to go. Keep a variety of seasonings and flavors. Then, mix and match for each meal as you see fit. One day, the lentils could be paired with roasted parsnips and brussel sprouts and dressed with a quickly made marinade. Cook time is about 10 minutes (perfect when I'm hungry and angry) as I've prepped in advance. Another day I could put cashews, kale, and broccoli in a quinoa salad. Again, quick and freshly seasoned so the flavors keep me interested.

I feel like I've cracked the code on being an adult! I finally feel like I know what to do in order to function! It's really revelatory!

Here's my current deal: whenever I have a day off or a few hours, I prep maybe two types of beans, often black beans and lentils. I put them in pyrex containers in the fridge.

I roast whatever vegetables looked good. Recently, it's parsnips, golden beets, broccoli, and brussel sprouts.

I prepare some grains, most often these days I make a farro risotto, rice, and quinoa.

I keep quickly prepared veggies like spinach, kale, tomatoes, onions, garlic, lemon, and ginger on hand.

I keep copious amounts of veggie stock for reheating beans and the farro risotto.

I keep various spices around like tuscan spices, cumin, coriander, tumeric, and various hot sauces.

For lunch and dinner, I mix and match. This protein and that veggie. This grain, protein, and veggie combo. Switch and switch with different seasoning.

For snacks, I have bananas, berries, avocados, and nuts laying around.

I feel better. My energy is more consistent. I am less resistant to cooking because I feel like my cooking has a purpose. One burst of prep and then quickly prepared meals for days to come.

Kevin feels like he's found a new woman and he likes her. I'm alright with her too.