Divulge

Kevin & I went to the Free Library two weeks ago to hear Cheryl Strayed.  She authored Torch, Wild, & Tiny, Beautiful Things.  Wild has become a runaway success.  Oprah revived her book club to recognize the book, it's on NY Times best-seller lists, & has kept Strayed on tour for at least a year.  In Wild, Strayed details her trek on the Pacific Crest Trail & how that experience offered her healing from the death of her mother.  It's a raw, naked look at one of the darkest periods of Strayed's life.

During the Q & A, I raised my hand.  I said, "In many of your works, especially Tiny, Beautiful Things you make yourself available as a mentor to other writers.  I thank you for that!  As a mentor, I want to know how you balance divulging so much personal information in your writing with healthy boundaries.  How do you maintain your privacy?  Handle relationships that are exposed?  Grapple with readers who experience a sense of intimacy with the aspect of yourself revealed in your work?"

I really wanted to know.  I hold back from writing about a lot of my experiences for a number of reasons.  One, I want a private life.  Two, I don't know how to manage the implications for others involved.  Three, I don't want to be gratuitously confessional.  I want to be responsible with my own life & respectful of my own story.  Yet, these stories do have a larger resonance.  That's why we write.

Strayed acknowledged that she maintains healthy privacy.  She's considered in what she shares & why.  Thankfully, there hasn't been much fall-out in her relationships due to her writing.  Her writing has opened up conversations with some of those included in her work.

She also said that most people are incredibly respectful & acknowledge her privacy & boundaries.  Her authenticity makes interactions with others real, fast.  Readers are quick to share big, pivotal moments in their own lives.

& she mainly wrote about events that happened over twenty years ago.  She hasn't written about her marriage nor her young children.

My life is sacred.  My stories are sacred.  Yet, part of what helps me understand & heal is knowing how these stories resonate with something bigger than me.