Thursday, July 18, 2013

Note to self: A bug bite does not foretell doom

Kevin is very zen about mosquito bites.  He attributes it to so many years of working hard, outdoors, and to his will.  He doesn't want to be driven inside so he perserveres when temperatures climb over 100 degrees.  He doesn't want to feel so affected so he's almost willed himself past an allergy to poison ivy.  He can be doused in it and not show a rash.  However, he comes home & I get a rash from doing his laundry.  The other night he laid in the hammock and watched a mosquito sting him.  He felt the sting and developed an initial welt, but eventually it faded and didn't itch.

I'm the opposite.  I've been told by Chinese herbalists, Acupuncturists, and Ayurvedic practitioners that I have a lot of "fire" & that symptoms manifest on my skin.  I'm so allergic to poison ivy that one time it went systemic-- in my blood stream.  I am a magnet for mosquitoes and welt immediately.  Bugs love to bite me.  I itch and moan.  When the temperature crawls to the mid 90s I feel like my brain is melting.

But I think there's something to Kevin's approach.  Years ago a friend saw a spider bite on my leg.  "You have that because you think so much.  You're a nervous type of person.  If you were calmer, the welt would be smaller or not at all."  You could roll your eyes and say he's nuts-- that our responses are strictly physical.  I felt like there was something there.  I am that type of person.  My mind is always going.  I do get nervous and anxious.  I do hype myself & almost always unnecessarily.  Perhaps if I did learn to control my mind, as the yogis instruct, my responses to these stimuli would be milder.

It's dusk as I write.  Just now, I went into the basement to collect laundry.  I walked to the yard to hang the clothes on the line.  As I emerged onto the grass I was struck by the cooler temperature.  I felt calm and content.  Something zapped my toe like electricity.  I looked down and saw some big, black and neon bug.  I don't know what it was, but it left an impression.  The feeling was so strong that I gasped.  Immediately I started moaning, "What now?  Was it a bee?  Now it will be hard to be on my feet!  My shoulder just healed!  What is going on?  Why me?"  (Seriously.  I thought, "why me?")

And then.  "It was a bug.  You were in its way, maybe you threatened its home, maybe it was just hungry.  Who knows what it was.  Don't go on WebMD.  You'll diagnose yourself with encephalitis.  Calm down.  Let the sting fade.  Hang the laundry."

So I did.  I continued walking to the lines and hung the laundry.  My toe throbbed and then ached.  I noticed the sensation subsiding.  I saw what may have been a mouse run under a garden bed.  I saw a chipmunk dart through the blueberries.  Butterflies and birds dive-bombed corn and potatoes and tomatoes.  The light was soft and the branches bobbed in response to breeze.  It's just life.  We get stung and injured and slowed because we just do.  It happens.  It happens to all forms of life.  Within our control is our response.  We can freak out and swell up and be stopped, or we can calm down.  Know that it's not personal.  There's no great intent to persecute.

I know that not everything is within our control.  Injuries and diseases are on a continuum and certainly we can't always mitigate more serious ailments.  But I'm beginning to be a believer in the power to co-exist with my flying insect brethren.

I recently read an article about various cultural attitudes to natural disasters.  Obviously, people throughout the world are affected by wildfires, hurricanes, tornadoes, earthquakes, mudslides, and other catastrophic events.  Their response is influenced by personal and cultural background.  I imagine these events, having not been victim to one, as aberrations.  How do these things happen?  Why?  What does it mean?  To a degree, those questions are worthwhile, particularly when the event was caused or intensified by human intervention, like with earthquakes occurring in response to fracking, or an uptick in hurricanes due to climate change.  Taking a longer, historic view, we also see these events simply happening from time to time.  Because forces beyond us have work to do.  Because, as part of the network of life, we are affected.

The author of this article had personally experienced natural disasters in the United States and Guatemala.  Her neighbors in the United States expressed outrage akin to mine, "why me?  Why did this happen?"  In Guatemala, there wasn't a sense that what happened was unnatural nor personal.  Her neighbors were Mayan Kakchiquel.  They rebuilt and moved on.  But they didn't feel that something wrong had occurred.  They live in the world.  The world is dynamic.  It's movements impact us.  We respond.  And we chose how we respond.

I'm working to calm my mind.  I don't want to feel so panicked by a bug bite or to note some overwhelming trend towards doom when it happens on the heels of a cold.  I want to be aware and work within my body and environment healthfully.  And to respond to larger forces with a sense of calm and presence.  I'm a small speck in a much bigger picture.  Bug's gotta do what a bug's gotta do.  Earth's gotta move as the earth's gotta move.  I'm happy to be given a place, for a time.

P.S. Kevin thinks it was a bee sting.  And he said that bee stings are great for your immune system.

1 comment: