Enough

Ever since I reinvigorated my yoga practice I've been an early riser.  My Mom practiced yoga when she was pregnant with me.  As a teenager, when I did some serious healing, I began my practice of yoga.  It seems like yoga set my internal compass back to optimal & shifts happened organically.

Rising early during February of 2011 Kevin & I would wait by the gate of our favorite San Marcos Cafe & watch early light spread on the waters of Lake Atitlan.  We sat under the avocado tree, ordered coffee grown across the lake, orange juice from a nearby tree, & organic fare grown within 50 ft of where we sat.

Atitlan sunrise

Here Kevin & I checked in.  Of course, at home, in our day to day lives we work to be close & attentive to one another.  There's no denying how much easier it is to find yourself somewhere remarkable, without your regular responsibilities nor distractions, & listen a bit more deeply.  Each morning we watched parents walk their kids to school, farmers head to fields, & settled a bit into the local pace.  We reflected on what in our lives at home felt really right.  We had recently purchased our first home together-- the home we'd been subletting from a friend for years.  It's a fixer-upper, but we love the location & already have our thumb print & vision on its frame.

We also talked about what we were learning that inspired us to change our lives at home.  This is one of the reasons why I prioritize travel-- everywhere I go I get a new sense of how to exist in the world.  Travel is a constant reminder that there is no one way to live nor be.  People all over the planet have found unique & dynamic ways to live within their environment.  While I have an abiding love for so many pieces of earth, I'm also reminded about how much the Philadelphia region has shaped me, held me in community, & is a part of who I am.  I become grateful again for my home & environment.  Travel is only appealing if you there's somewhere you want to return.

Kevin & I fantasized about working jobs less & working for ourselves more.  The cafe was out of avocadoes that morning.  Given that we were in fertile Guatemala, I was surprised.  The waitress explained that there had been a lot of rain that year so the avocado tree produced less.  "What avocado tree?"  "The one next to you," she replied.  "That's our source."

It becomes real, do-able, that our grocery bills could be lowered with increased dirt under our nails.  I excused myself to use the restroom, which was a composting toilet.  No water bill, built in compost.  There was art built into every corner of the Cafe-- planted wine bottles shedding colored light along the pine needle mulched pathways, hand-woven table cloths, seeds-cum-beads.

Organic garden at Moon Cafe in San Marcos, Guatemala

Progressively, we're getting a little bit clearer on how to live in a way that feels right to us.  We're learning to value our time in some instances more than money.  We're using the word "enough" as often as possible-- we have enough, we are enough.

Interestingly, some of my greatest struggles are reminding myself of what feels true to me vs. what I've been taught to be true.  Thanks to choices I've made in partnership, I have more time than I used to.  I can direct it towards tending my garden, creative projects, activism, learning, collaborating.  There isn't always income attached to this work, though I can see it's merit.  When I spend weekday hours on tasks that don't generate "income" I start panicking.  Certainly, I need a stable household, but I've also been attentive to how much money we need to survive, that we're not seeking to become rich-- just stable, secure, & as free as possible.

The more time I put towards creative engagements, the more opportunities seem to arise.  I'm finally freed up to follow through on goals that had been on the back burner.  Initially, it was incredibly scary.  There were no excuses to not pursue my passions.  I have to follow through on my intentions.

Two books more than many others clarified & validated building a Life more than a Career: "Radical Homemakers" & "Your Money or Your Life".  Both books explain how & why people might find lives oriented towards consuming & spending as little as possible while living richly.  I began to gradually see that my deeply held political convictions were best exemplified by my own practice of living.  Instead of feeling compartmentalized-- well, I work in a way that compromises me but it's so during these hours I can join in working on a cause I deem just on the weekend-- there was a larger integration.

I want to be clear-- I have spent many hours working jobs to survive, & it's an utter privelege to shift away from needing those jobs.  Thanks to mentorship from my community, gradually, over years, I found ways to spend less, need less money, & move towards stability.  My hope is that through collective work & knowledge sharing others can do the same.